Tapezilla

“Ally of Hero”, “Patrol Across Asia”, “War on Death”. This holiday’s biggest selling war games? Nope, they’re totally fake and made from the Tapezilla War Game Generator. It randomly generates another generic war game, complete with fake box art.

THE TAPEZILLA WAR GAME GENERATOR

This is a list of five things we’d rather do than play the upcoming Golden Axe: Beast Rider that Pete’s been so high on for the last few weeks. (List compiled by TZ staff sans Pete)

5. Dinner For One “Animal Boxing” for the DS (finish it in one sitting).
4. Buy Golden Axe: Beast Rider, but never open it.
3. Hold a fudgesicle like it’s a Wii remote and pretend we’re playing Call of Duty: World at War, while all the time it melts onto our fingers.
2. Suck off a man.
1. Play through Golden Axe for Genesis while actually riding a beast.

You heard about it on a previous episode of Tapezilla, now witness the imagery. This is a shot taken minutes after the controller was demolished during an unfortunate game of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3. RIP Dual Shock 2, and damn you Tony Hawk. Damn you.

This may sound surprising, but we’ve actually received a few e-mails asking if we have any banners that listeners can use to promote Tapezilla — either on myspace/facebook pages or in sigs on forums that allow that kind of nonsense. Well ask no longer. I give you both an ad banner-sized well… banner, and the rectangular logo used on our more recent Youtube calls. Feel free to steal them and put them everywhere.

Would you… you know? Hit it? Be honest.

I WOULD FUCKING WRECK THAT.

Hey guys. So we’re 3 episodes in and so far the response to the show could not be better. I just wanted to thank everyone for making Tapezilla one of the fastest-growing gaming podcasts out there. We’ve read every e-mail you guys have sent us, and we want to encourage you to keep the comments and suggestions coming. We even have a voicemail number (over on the right side of the screen) that you can call to leave your feedback.

We’re not out of the woods just yet, though. We need help from every one of you guys (and girls) to get the word out, so let your friends and everyone else know that Tapezilla’s the funniest and most entertaining gaming podcast around. We’ve been racking our brains thinking of ways to get the word out, so if you guys have any suggestions, let us know! The idea that’s being tossed around now is having some sort of contest where the person who best gets the word out would get a cool prize.

So thanks again, guys, and look for Episode #004 this coming week.

Yet another Target clearance that defies logic. Sure, The Club wasn’t a 10, but this guy’s still $60 at just about every other retailer. Oh, and don’t think for a second the 360 version is that cheap. Nope, that one’s still $60. As I’ve said in the past - I love corporate markdowns! Anyone who knows Target deals knows that this may not be at everyone’s Target just yet, but keep checking back.

To those I speak with, it’s not much of a secret that I’m little if not a long time Ninja Gaiden fanboy and hardened ninja warrior.

(Dramatization)

A playable demo consisting of the first level (minus the boss fight) of Ninja Gaiden 2 went up on the Japanese XDL Marketplace this morning, and those of us cunning enough to send our internets across the Pacific ocean have finally gotten the opportunity to see the game first hand.

If you’re the forum type, you’ll note some misgivings floating around about the game and some of its half-hot early review scores… As a long time fan of the first game, and having played the demo through a couple times, I don’t see where they’re coming from. The entire feel and dynamic of the first game is intact, only served up with an exclamation point — Which is precisely what fans of the series want. It’s faster, slicker, the animations even more pleasing, and the violence far more brutal. The dismemberments and obliteration techniques alone add an extraordinary amount of fun and flavor to an already fun and flavorful formula.

Based on this demo, I don’t really see what more fans could want.

So with Wii Fit’s release today, the Nintendo hype train grabbed yet another passenger as my girlfriend found herself sans $90 (apparently Gamestop got in more than enough to cover their pre-orders). Now with her $95 (after tax) investment, came a fairly large box that I figured I’d kindly offer to carry around the mall since we had a few more stops to make. And with that, I discovered the best way to gain some muscle with Wii Fit - carry that bastard of a box around for half an hour. By the time we were leaving the mall, I had put it down once, switched hands twice, and complained about carrying it far more than 3 times. But on the bright side, I would now kick some serious ass at that “Test Your Grip” machine found at rest stops along the New York State Thruway.